Too much exposure to visual and audio media from a young age coupled with ineffective parenting has made kids selfish, self indulgent and seeking instant gratification. They’re given to spontaneous behaviour and may be frustrated.
Since the family is a training ground for preparing children to take their place in society as responsible adults, parents will need to periodically evaluate their styles of working. They have to possess a progressive outlook while adhering to old world values. Child rearing principles are changing as the world changes and parental functions will also change as the child develops. From disciplinarians they develop into friends and teachers. It’s good to bear in middle the Biblical adage –
Nobody can boast of being a parent. It’s through trial and error that one learns how best to mold the personality of a child, based on his personality. Love, patience and negotiating skills form the basis of good parenting.
The love of parents is instinctive and has to be unconditional. It’s best expressed in how a child is nurtured. Patients shouldn’t be embarrassed to show emotion. Open affection between husband and wife is the most reassuring to the child. He’ll have confidence that he’s safe and secure in their love and they are always available to direct him. Only if there’s a healthy relationship between them can discipline be inculcated.
Discipline is for the positive good of their child. A kid needs discipline and bounds teaches him to respect authority. Obedience ought to be expected at all times. Praise for good behavior is vital. But he must also be educated to accept’No’ for an answer. Discipline provides a structure for psychological and social growth. Discipline however has to be consistent. Correction must be carried out in a positive way rather than by punitive measures. An individual has to be kind but firm in implementing rules. The child should know that subject is like”a garland to grace his head and a chain to adorn his throat.”
It will ruin motivation and make him slothful. There are several reasons why parents become over indulgent. They could be divorced and compensate for giving him a lot of liberties. They are anxious parents who wish to overprotect their own child. So they give in their whims and needs. Some parents find a means of fulfilling their own needs through their own child. Helicopter parents do not allow their kid to develop and make their own decisions.
Permissive parents on the other hand let their kid do what he enjoys. They’re non-directive and non-demanding. Anything that the kid does is fine with them. Parents are so involved in their own lives which they don’t have any opportunity to play an active role in the life span of their child. Such a child is insecure and lacks leadership. He knows that his parents will not bother about what he does. There are no guidelines or limitations. Such a kid is confused, makes wrong decisions and will drift into delinquency.
In the other extreme are authoritative parents that are control freaks and impose strict rules which need to be followed. They’re critical of everything the kid does. They ruin his self respect by making disparaging remarks. There’s never a word of praise. Risks and punitive measures are imposed for minor flaws. Because of this, the child becomes a nervous wreck, living under a cloud of dread. However, as an adult he might develop an anti-social personality resulting in frequent brushes with the Legislation.